


Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional

by orphan_account



Category: Fandom - Fandom, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Meta, Seriously crack, and the fifth wall while we're at it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3615924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I broke the fifth wall and all I got was this lousy t-shirt (from the future, that changes color, and was designed for snails, but the future's snails are much larger than ours, like terrifyingly so, but the t-shirt makes a good blanket).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry.

Very far in the future, there was an extremely normal child called Sam. Until that day with that thing that caused that rather uncertain chain of events which led to what can only be termed an unfortunate accident. Unfortunately we can neither confirm nor deny when that happened, as by it's very nature Sam left normal time behind. 

Sam fluctuates between time streams. Sam started in what dear reader we would call the future. Hence the confusion with many of the current websites. The original websites of the 80s and 90s are of historical note, as the first widely accessible internet, so luck was on his side and he can do well with those older ones. It's hilarious to him, to watch the chaos that ensues when Tumblr changes their format, the world has no idea what is coming. 

Sam skips between old and young, never sure when he wakes up which him it will be. It's unusual sure to be old one day and young the next but it's always the way he has been since that time with that thing. Each him has what would be their full knowledge linearly to that age but sadly no guaranteed memory of the day before. Sam's gotten good at keeping detailed notes on his own life and waking up early to catch himself up. Unfortunately, the changes in height and center of gravity create ever clumsier scenarios and his high rate of injury might well be the thing that one day exposes him. The future has better medicine, it's not his fault he seems careless with his health. 

How does no one notice you ask? In the future some genius watched a little too much Doctor Who and created a Chameleon Arch, but for people. Sam's personal favorite is the Labrador retriever option. He looks good as a dog. But for day to day things he picks an age and sticks to it. Though sometimes he goes to the gym as a much younger man. But Sam never posts any pictures of himself online. Ever. He remembers life in the future, and isn't sure if he ever ends up back there and what could happen if his unlucky predicament is known. 

At first, Sam tried to change things. He may not have been the best in school but he knew some of the major events of the last 300 years (well future 300 years now). But meddling only made weird things happen, some of which had already happened in history before he tripped and ended up in now but maybe history works itself out in the end. So he stopped. With all his now free time he watched numerous movies and tv, it's so weird to not be holographic or at the very least 3D. But the past (present) has real paper comic books! Fresh and new and not dingy with history. He gets a job, some hobbies, discovered he both enjoyed and was good at writing. And then, completely by accident and still anonymous, he became what the 00s generally calls "a BNF". Those who followed his work just call him Sam, or Copperbadge. Suddenly, the world was watching and reaching out to him. And Sam did the best thing he ever did - he opened his heart and his experiences and reached back. Now he is called Dad or numerous other familial titles. Sam hosts movie nights online, takes questions about things no way related to his many fandoms and gives back wisdom and encouragement, makes us laugh, makes us dream. 

Betwixt then and now, Sam's not sure if he'll ever make it back home. Moreover, he's not even sure if that place with it's unsafe lab conditions is still "home". So he does what he does best, and carries on. 

**Author's Note:**

> And the title belongs to Douglas Adams.


End file.
